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Talk it Out Before You Say, “I Do”

 

You’re thinking about spending the rest of your life with that special person. But do you really know them as well as you think? Are there areas you need to know about (or they need to know about you) that you haven’t discussed? The best time to get down to the nitty-gritty with each other is before you say, “I do.” You need to know what to expect after the wedding day, and to decide if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person the way they are now. Chances are they (and you) won’t change that much, so if you really want to know who you are agreeing to love, work through these questions together. There’s no hurry — take all the time you need. But there’s one rule. You must be completely, gut-wrenchingly honest! If you misrepresent yourself, they will remember.

Past

  • The best part about my childhood was?
  • The worst part about my childhood was?
  • The scariest thing that ever happened to me was?
  • Something I’m afraid to tell anyone about my past is?
  • A past situation that could affect my future is?
  • I’ve had [ ] sexual partners before this relationship.
  • The way I feel about my past relationship history is?

Who I Am

  • My biggest needs in life are?
  • My most frequent mood is?
  • The thing I hate most is?
  • The thing I worry about most is?
  • Three things I want to change about myself are?
  • Three things I really like about myself are?
  • My most common daydream is?
  • I get angry when?
  • My favorite kind of house pet is?
  • My overall opinion about myself is?
  • I think my greatest personality asset is?
  • My greatest personality weakness is?
  • I find the greatest enjoyment in?
  • The sin I struggle most with is?
  • I’m most ashamed about?
  • Someone I greatly admire is?
  • The way I feel about death is?
  • I think war is?
  • I feel happy when?
  • I have no use for people who?
  • When someone acts rude to me, I?
  • When someone is unfair, I?
  • I feel jealous of?
  • My dream vacation would include?
  • The things I find the most fun are?
  • My favorite sport(s) is?
  • Playing sports in my future is a [ ] on a scale from one to ten.
  • Watching sports on T.V. is a [ ] for me on a scale from one to ten.
  • I am disgusted by?
  • When I am afraid (substitute sad, angry, happy, lonely, tired), I?
  • My hobbies include?
  • I spend [ ] hours a week at my hobbies.
  • What I really want when I am sick is?
  • The part of my body I am most bothered by is?
  • The part of my body I am most happy with is?
  • What hurts me most is?
  • The best (and worst) thing about life is?
  • The first thing I notice about someone is?
  • When someone is angry with me, I?
  • When someone is disappointed in me, I?
  • The worst (and best) thing about the opposite sex is
  • Being teachable means?
  • People (including me) should say they’re sorry when?
  • Marriage My reasons for wanting to get married are?
  • I think the keys to a good marriage are?
  • The biggest mistakes I made in past relationships are?
  • The area I’ve grown the most in relationships is?
  • Relationships in the past have taught me?
  • I’ve always viewed marriage as?
  • My parents had a [ ] marriage.
  • I learned [ ] about marriage from my parents.
  • I think the things in marriage you should be honest about are?
  • The areas I’m concerned about being married are?
  • The areas I’m excited about being married are?
  • Marriage for me will be giving up?
  • Marriage for me will be gaining?
  • I think separate vacations are?
  • Traveling together is?
  • When having conflict, I like to: cool off by myself before discussing the problem; discuss and work the problem out right away; pretend there is no problem and just move on; analyze the problem as to what it is, why it happened, how to avoid it in the future, etc?
  • Arguing and or fighting is?
  • The best way to handle disagreements is to?
  • What I fear most about marriage is?
  • What I anticipate most about marriage is?
  • The role of in-laws in marriage is?
  • The thing that will make me most secure (and insecure) in marriage is?
  • Dating (each other) after you are married is?
  • Love is?
  • “Till death do us part” means?
  • I think people should be allowed to divorce when?
  • For me, divorce is?

Sex

  • I think sex is/will be?
  • I think a healthy marriage involves sex [ ] per week or [ ] per month.
  • Real sex in marriage differs from Hollywood in the following ways…
  • I think being naked in front of someone is?
  • On a scale from one to ten, sex is a [ ] in importance in a good marriage.
  • What sex means to me is?
  • Talking about sex feels?
  • Being spontaneous or creative in marriage sex sounds?

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